18 years

 

There are days when I look at your twin brother and see how he has changed 30 years after I changed diapers for both of you. He is at his prime, a handsome man full of promises.

And I wonder how you would look 18 years after I put a lily on your coffin.

And I go to the boxes where thousands of your photos, all in B&W, are kept. I remember where and when I took each of these frozen moments. And yet, after all these years, I find one that makes me think. Makes me recall a smile, a frown, or the playfulness of a 10 years’ old girl.

Here is such a photo. I took it on the lake in Virginia where our family was blessed for a decade. There was laughter and there was life.

So, how would that smile, those hazel eyes and that blessing go? How would you look today as a 30 year old woman?

I will never know.

What we have is a cold stone to look at.

 

July 18, 2023

© Vahé Kazandian, 2023